(Source: Nanhu Evening News)
Transferred from: Nanhu Evening News
Compiled by Han Yuchao, a reporter from N Evening News
Ms. Bian: My husband retired in June this year. Before his retirement, he was a small leader in the company, managing more than ten people. Although he was not a high-ranking official, he was also a decisive figure in those tens of square meters of office space. Every morning, as soon as he enters the door, people pouring water, handing over documents, and asking for work instructions circle around him. He has also become accustomed to the feeling of being needed and surrounded.
Retired, quiet, just a bit scary. In the first few days, he stayed at home, watching TV from morning till night. I found his legs blocking my sweeping, and he found me nagging. Later on, I realized something was wrong. Every morning at 8:30, he dressed neatly and carried the old briefcase that had been in use for seven or eight years. He said to me, "I'm out." When I asked where he was going, he mumbled, "Take a look, find a place to read
My heart skipped a beat for a moment. It had been a whole day, and I didn't come back until 5 pm, just like I used to clock in after work. As someone like me, I can't hide things in my heart, and asking directly is afraid of hurting his self-esteem. That morning, he walked out with his front foot, and I followed him with my back foot. I was wearing a pair of sunglasses and a scarf, as if I were a thief. He didn't go anywhere else, just entered a nearby caf é.
I looked inside through the glass door, and he walked up to a wall seat in the corner, put down his briefcase, and then went to the counter. He didn't use his phone to place an order and paid cash to buy a cup of coffee. The shop assistant girl already knows him and greeted him with a smile.
He returned to his seat with his coffee in hand, opened his briefcase, and took out a pair of reading glasses, a notebook, and a pen. Then he just sat there, writing and drawing, taking a sip from his cup, and occasionally glancing at the door. If someone pushes the door in, he will instinctively straighten his waist.
I looked both angry and amused outside the door. Later, I secretly flipped through his notebook, but there were no customers. They were all handwritten health recipes and weather forecasts. He sees this place as his new office, and strangers who come and go are probably treated as subordinates and clients by him.
It's been like this for several days in a row. Every day, he relies on that cup of coffee to play the role of a leader for the whole day. He needs that environment, that feeling, and when he comes home at night, he will turn back into that quiet old man. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how to speak. Let's expose him and let his old face go somewhere? How will we go out in the future? Let's not expose it. Watching him spend money every day to buy an imaginary 'workstation', my heart is really sour and bitter.
A few days ago, during dinner, he suddenly blurted out, "Famous coffee is just like that." I held back for a while and replied, "Yeah, there's no such thing as affordable tea at home." He didn't answer, took a few bites of rice, and got up to watch the news. The next morning at 8:30, he picked up his briefcase and the door closed with a 'click'. Alas, as a wife, should I pretend to be confused or come up with a way to pull him off that 'workstation'?
Wan Jie once said: Retirement, for some people, is excitement and anticipation, but for those who love their work or are accustomed to being looked up to, it is loss and discomfort. This husband goes to the coffee shop every day, not because he is obsessed with the taste of coffee, but because he wants to grab onto himself who is respected and has an identity. For him, this is a painful transition period and he needs time to adapt to retirement life. As a wife, instead of following her, it's better to find more opportunities to chat with her husband, without revealing anything, but to ask him what he did outside during the day with care. You can also accompany him to go out for a stroll in the park or travel, cultivate his interests and hobbies. When he finds the value of his retirement life, he will naturally not spend money to sit in a caf é for a day, and will gradually build a new life pivot.